“Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
(Joshua 1:9, CSB)
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It’s a misconception that Christians are supposed to be perfectly “good” or “fixed” once we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Of course, we are supposed to become more like Christ, taking to heart the words and commands of God in the Bible. However, this doesn’t happen as a one-time event. This transformation by the Holy Spirit is a lifetime process.
We could be upset and distraught about this—that we will continue to make mistakes and sin against God (and each other) throughout our lives. But I think it might be a better use of our time if we see this as proof of God’s grace in our lives. Because when you think about it, that means that God is always teaching us and guiding us throughout our lives. God is always there with us. And I think that’s a wonderful and ultimately encouraging thing.
Even missionaries like me are constantly being taught new things by God. And sometimes old things, too. But if we are open to the work of the Spirit, we can grow and understand what it means to follow Jesus more and more through these times of instruction.
Just a few weeks ago, God had some important things to teach me. From uncovering idols in my life to recommitting my trust in God, they’re all ways that I (and I suspect many others) can continue to grow in our relationship with Christ and our walk with God.
God, Send Help (Please)
As a rule, I try to make time to pray and be with God every Tuesday evening (or Wednesday if Tuesday doesn’t work out). It’s a time when I intentionally sit down with God and have focused prayer and communion with Him. I read God’s Word, give thanks and praise, and just sit and listen. It’s also a time when I bring my problems to Jesus and try to hash them out.
Recently, I was having a lot of issues. I had been feeling sick all the time, stressed about anything and everything, and just couldn’t find peace or rest. So naturally, I took it to God during my Tuesday prayer time. I’m curled up on the floor of the church prayer room, and quite literally begging God to just “fill me in”—to let me know what on earth was going on with me.
To make matters more complicated, I had some decisions coming up that I thought I had already resolved. However, I realized that I had made those decisions on my own without consulting God, and was stressing about if I was actually doing what God wanted me to do. This led to me waiting and wondering what God was going to answer regarding those things.
So I’m sitting there, on the floor, cocooned in a blanket, eyes to the ceiling…waiting for answers. I even try to keep it open for God—letting Him know that He could tell me whatever He wanted, even if it wasn’t related to my questions. (Talk about self-righteous, am I right?)
And it was quiet. Only the soft melody of the prayer room piano filled the space. No. Answer.
As you can imagine, I was troubled. I regularly practice listening prayer and often hear or see something. But I heard nothing.
So I waited a little more.
But time was running out. I had to leave for class soon, and I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving that prayer space with no answer—with no reply. I pleaded one more time with God to give me even a scrap of something. Then, grabbing my Bible in desperation, I figured that God may have something to say from His word. I opened to a random page.
And God finally spoke.
I had opened to the last 5 psalms—Psalms 145-150. If you know anything about the organization of the psalms, those five are what we call the “praise” psalms. Nothing about despair. Nothing about guidance or encouragement. They just praise God.
To say I was confused would be an understatement. Frankly, I didn’t get it. What was God trying to tell me? But even so, God gave me something, so I took it and left our prayer time to get ready for class.
Stressing Over Idols
As I walked home from class that night, puzzled and ultimately unsatisfied with God’s reply to me, I decided to listen to a sermon when I got home. I recognized that I lacked the insight to understand the relevance of the Psalms in light of my problems. Plus, though I know God can speak to people in dreams, I didn’t trust my own ability to interpret anything in my often ridiculous dreamscape. Listening to a pastor seemed more reliable.
In a rare moment of focus, I opted to disappear into my room quickly instead of chatting with my roommate the way I usually do after work. I slipped into my pajamas, got everything ready for bed, and prepared myself to listen again. Timothy Keller is a favorite of mine, and I regularly listen to his sermons. I got in bed and queued up the next sermon in the playlist. It was probably about 10 minutes into the sermon when I began to grasp Tim’s main topic for the message.
Idolatry.
The plot thickened in my mind. If anything, I got even more confused than before. Idolatry wasn’t an issue that ever occurred to me. Surely, I didn’t have any idols, right? And what does idolatry even have to do with those Psalms? (You gotta love it when God decides to be all roundabout with His teaching.)
Though I was loathe to think that I was struggling with idolatry, it seemed only right to consider it and ask God about it. What idols do I have in my life right now, God? And that’s when God decided to get chatty.
You think and worry about your future too much.
Okay, sure. That’s true. I do think about my future a lot. I admittedly could trust God more on that front.
You still agonize over money issues.
That’s completely fair. This has been a recurring problem for me throughout my adult life.
You idolize your physical health. You think it’s something you own and not something I’ve given you. Your pride is deeply entwined in your ability to be “not sick.”
Well, that’s a first for me. But…alright. Yes, I confess that I have viewed my health as a unique ability of mine, and I crumble at the thought of not being able to “perform” in that way anymore.
You’ve been so focused and stressed about your blog and podcast, you’ve lost sight of what it was for.
Oh… Well, I didn’t mean to. I enjoy working on the blog and podcast. I want to continue it! I don’t want it to be an idol, though. Oh man… what have I been doing?
Idolatry wasn’t anywhere on my radar, but God knew what was up. God knew that idolatry was at the root of all my issues recently. Classic God move.
Praise Like the Angels Do
My head was swirling with the revelation God had given me. A myriad of idols had nestled themselves into the forefront of my mind in an attempt to separate me from God’s comfort and providence. Another devious move in an ongoing battle of spiritual warfare. But this was good, actually. Better to realize sooner rather than later (or never, God forbid). We were off to a good start with making things right with God.
Which led me to my next quandary: What do I do now? I may be consciously aware of my idols, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to disappear right away. How on earth was I supposed to mitigate their influence?
Thankfully, Tim Keller’s sermon wasn’t over. And as any proper pastor would, he had an application teaching near the end. Or a, “Now what?” section, if you will.
Keller’s recommendation for battling idolatry was to “do as the angels do”: praise God. Praise God just as the angels do eternally in Revelation. Sing praises, just as they did at the birth of Jesus. Lift up our praise as the angels have always done throughout the entirety of creation’s history.
When we praise God, we recenter our focus onto what truly matters:
- God Himself
- The mighty, good works of God
- Our place in relation to God
Those 5 psalms from my Tuesday prayer night finally made sense, at least.
Praising God in that moment helped me remember the reasons why it’s better to put my trust in Him. God created all things and has kept all His promises throughout the Old Testament (and several in the New Testament). Why on earth would God not have the best in mind for me? Why would God not take care of His daughter? And why did I think that I could fix everything all on my own?
All these idols of mine were born out of fear, worry, and pride. Fear of making the wrong step, or doing the wrong thing. Worry about my quality of life, and whether or not I could accomplish what I thought I needed to. And in my pride, somewhere deep down, I believed that my health and ability to accomplish these things was something that belonged to me—that came from within me. How ridiculous.
Everything that I am is a gift from God. My life, my abilities, my body, my place in life, intelligence, desires, you name it—they’re all from God first. I’m merely a steward of these things. If all these aspects of my life actually come from God, then they belong to God. As such, it’s only natural (and right) to consult God and trust Him to take care of all these things.
Be Strong and Courageous
So that’s what I had left to do. Entrust all my fears, worries, and pride to God. That’s the only way to get peace in the midst of this turbulence. But as it always turns out, God had an even greater challenge for me. God was going to ask for more than that.
I want you to keep walking ahead…without knowing ANYTHING. You will only be able to see what’s right in front of you. But I want you to walk beyond what you can see. Trust me.
At this point in time, God seems to have no intention of giving me anything to go off of. There’s no plan that I can see or fathom. All I can see is what’s right in front of me—my work today, this week…maybe even this month. Beyond…it’s all a haze. Unclear, foggy, and scary.
But God wasn’t done teaching yet. The next day, I went to my church’s Sunday morning Bible study. And what passage did we read? Joshua 1:1-9. And God decided to drop this humdinger of a verse on me.
“Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9 (CSB)
There’s that challenge again.
God was asking me to be strong and courageous. But what may be even harder is the fact that God was asking me to not be afraid. Because the fact is: I was afraid! God wanted me to walk straight ahead into that haze, trusting that He had a plan that He would carry out. I literally would just be along for the ride until He’s ready to give me more. Next to coming to Japan, I don’t think God has ever asked me to do something so hard.
Walk by Faith, Not by Sight
I’m aware of the problems and challenges in my life, but I have no clue as to how or when they will be resolved. That terrifies me! But that Sunday morning, in those verses, God reminded me of why I shouldn’t be afraid. “…the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.“
God was insistent. Just keep walking. I’ll be with you every step of the way, so don’t worry. I got this.
When God clearly speaks to you, how are you supposed to NOT follow? That’s all I have left. That’s the only choice I have. How can you blatantly ignore the voice of God? Maybe other people can, but I can’t.
That’s not to say that I don’t still occasionally fall into patterns of worry. I do. But God is gracious and knows my desire to trust Him more, so He gently reminds me when I start to worry again. Then, with complete awareness, I can practice stopping that line of thinking, and then consciously refocus my thoughts on God.
If you were to ask me about my money concerns, my blog or podcast, or my future, my answer these days is, “I don’t know.” Because, well, I don’t know. I’ve got nothing. But I feel lighter when I say it now. The burden is off my shoulders because it’s not my problem to fix anymore. It’s up to God now. And seeing as I can’t see beyond what’s in front of me, God seems like a much better candidate for taking care of my life.
Walking with God is scary, but I have never been bored when walking with God. It’s an adventure, full of growth, awe, and promise.