** Authors Note: You know how I write Sunday Chapel Time Bible studies for my church? Well, I also write messages for the youth group. We call it “Youth Sunday Chapel Time,” or “UC” for short. Once every other month, I have the privilege of writing a bible study of sorts to the junior high and high school students in my church. This is just one of my most recent messages. I’ve written several others, but whether or not I’ll format them for this blog is yet to be seen. (Please note that the tone and style of this study are going to be different than my normal Sunday Chapel Time Bible studies.) **

In this study, we’re going to talk a little bit about the twelve disciples and human relations, especially in the church. I won’t go into deep detail about individual disciples, but understanding them as a group is really important for this study.

Now let’s take a look at these disciples. We have:

Several of these men are also thought to be brothers. Judas is also the only disciple that’s from Judea, not Galilee.

So what do we notice here? Well, first, they all have different backgrounds. We have fishermen, a tax collector, and some Jewish nationalists (who approved of violent solutions for the sake of Jewish freedom). There’s also the “inner circle” of disciples within the twelve. Plus, there are several familial bonds connecting some men more closely with others. What could that do to the group environment?

The Disciples in Scripture

I have a few passages to look at that focus on a few interactions with the disciples. You can look into them yourself or discuss them in a group. What do you notice? What did you learn?

While the twelve disciples were close to Jesus, and therefore in close proximity with each other, that doesn’t mean they always got along. Peter often thought himself better or more devoted than the others, as we see in Matthew 26:33. Nobody was particularly eager to let Matthew, a tax collector, into the group. I mean, there were a few Jewish nationalists—including Simon the Zealot—that were strongly against Roman rule and paying taxes to the emperor. Ordinarily, they’d want to kill tax collectors. I can imagine they really didn’t want to work with Matthew—a Jew who seemingly betrayed his countrymen to collect taxes for Rome. In John 12, we see that Judas Iscariot was at times outspoken towards Jesus, and some of the disciples might have known he was pocketing money for himself. 

In Matthew 20, James and John’s mother came to ask Jesus to put her sons above the other ten disciples in God’s kingdom, and the other disciples heard about it! Needless to say, they weren’t too happy with them trying to get more power/status. And speaking of John, there always seemed to be some tension or rivalry between John and Peter, two of Jesus’ closest disciples, as we can see in John 20:1–6. Reminds me a little of these two.

Why is this important to understand? The Church is a diverse body of people. Many different personalities, ideologies, backgrounds, and ways of living are represented in the Church, and they don’t always get along, either. There are going to be people that are Christians—are part of the same body of Christ as you—but you’re not going to get along with them. Maybe your personalities are different. Or you have different ways of doing things. Or maybe they just rub you the wrong way, and you’re not even sure why. You just don’t like them much. In some cases, you may even have to work together. What’s a person to do? 

Obviously, if you weren’t a Christian, it would be reasonable—even acceptable—to just continue living your life and disliking them. Who says you have to get along with everybody? That’s unreasonable. No one can get along with everyone. It’s natural to not get along with everyone.

However, we are Christians. We follow Jesus, and Jesus tells us to love our neighbors AND our enemies. As such, we are called to follow a higher standard of living—even if it’s hard. We should show love to all people—regardless of our differences. But even more, we need to show love to our brothers and sisters in Christ, which isn’t always the easiest thing to do. In fact, I think it’s harder sometimes than loving a nonbeliever.

Think about it. If someone is a jerk to you and they’re not a Christian, it’s easy to forgive them and let it go, because they don’t have Jesus in their life. How could they possibly know how to live a truly loving, compassionate life if they don’t follow Jesus? But if a fellow Christian wrongs you or is difficult to work with…it’s harder to like them and forgive them. Because they should know better. They’re Christians! They’re supposed to be better people. It’s frightfully easy to fall into this way of thinking.

Live at Peace with Everyone

So how should we act, then? What does the Bible say about this? Let’s look at Romans 12:9-18. 

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[a] Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Romans 12:9-18 (NIV)

This passage is a great summary of Christian ethics and how to generally treat others. However, I think verse 18 really stands out. “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Seek peace above all else with others. And how do we find peace? Through forgiveness, loving-kindness, and grace towards others. Even if—no, especially when we don’t want to. 

The fact of the matter is: no one is perfect, even Christians. Are we called to behave better than nonbelievers? Yes. Most definitely. But are we going to perfectly follow through every time? No, we’re not. We are made new in Christ—ultimately free from the burdens of sin—but that doesn’t mean we don’t still sin in this life. We won’t be fully perfected until the last day. Clearly, the disciples weren’t perfect. And neither are we. Nor are other Christians—in your church or others.

But there’s good news. God still chose to use the disciples. This means God still chooses to use us, despite our flaws. After the Ascension, the disciples were (more or less) able to work past their differences to share the gospel with the world and do the Lord’s work. God can also enable us to work with people that we may ordinarily not get along with. The Holy Spirit covers that gap between us. It connects Christ in your heart to Christ in their hearts. Just as God has shown you grace and forgiveness, God has also shown grace and forgiveness towards those brothers and sisters you don’t get along with. If God deems them worthy of love, forgiveness, and grace, we should treat them accordingly.

It won’t be easy; I can promise you that. But the more you do it, the easier it gets. That’s how God transforms the heart—through our decision to act according to His will. So the ball is in your court. If you want to love others better, and have a transformed mind, heart, and spirit—choose it. Make the decision. Jesus will cover the rest.